I believe menopause is the pathway to apatheia. Which “is a mature mindfulness, a grounded sensitivity and a keen attention to one’s inner world as well as to the world in which one has journeyed.” (The Forgotten Desert Mothers, Laura Swan) Basically, another way of saying, in this new season, I don’t have any eff’s left to give. In this second half of life, I deeply desire to give and receive love like Jesus. Full stop. 

I believe God cannot wait to bring new life through my barrenness. 

I believe that the most important aspect of loving like Jesus starts with a regulated body.  A body able to hold the full range of all human emotions and not get knocked out by the depth and breadth of their intensity. A body that has the capacity to hold the suffering of other bodies pointing them to the One who co-suffers with/for us all.

I believe that Creation holds the answers to some of our deepest questions, that God does some of His best work through the mediation of others and that healing follows certain rhythms……wounded, written, witnessed and pierced, pondered and prayed (hello Mary Mother of God I’m lookin’ at you). 

I believe each one of us carries an embryonic anointing meant to reveal the glory of God to the world in a unique way. The Holy Spirit spends a lifetime animating this anointing while the enemy sabotages and steals it. We need a sage witness to this spiritual battle of breaking and blessing, cursing and calling, wounding and resurrecting. As Flannery O’Connor says, “You cannot love what shocks you.” Until you have confronted the battlefield of sin and mercy within your own heart you will continue to be shocked by the battlefield of others. Thus perpetuating the cycle of shame and contempt. 

I believe the most important thing you need to know about me lies in what’s most valuable to me. My 32 year old marriage. My 3 adult sons. Their wives.  My grandbabies. Relationships that I have both harmed and healed. Ruptured and repaired. Each one continues to evolve and grow as I show up in new ways.